Eight lessons I learned biking my way around New York

The first ride I took in New York I was so scared that I asked my friend Josh, who was cheering me up after a big break up, to make extra sure I wasn't taking an e-bike: I was scared I wouldn't be able to control the speed, you see. The next was unexpectedly long and involved crossing the Manhattan bridge with my friend Kelly which, let me tell you, I am neither fit nor determined enough to do gracefully. I think that was what pushed me towards e-biking the next time I needed to make my way somewhere on two wheels. That's how I picked up my friend Anton's birthday cake and it was so easy, so fast that I've done it as much as I could ever since. Against all odds, bike lanes are very protected in New York and the experience is often one of magical beauty. I rode down the West Side Highway at sunset and cried, the colors of the sky feeling like they wrapped all around me. I wait until the light is just right before leaving the office, if I can, because crossing the bridge home will feel like a cimematographic experience. Nonetheless cycling requires that you are acutely aware of your surroundings, something I am notoriously bad at. Here are some helpful lessons I've learned that help me navigate the city's two-wheel lanes (and some shoes I've worn while on two wheels, to make your reading enjoyable)

1. Cars are assholes and should not be allowed anywhere near roads.

2. Pedestrians are assholes and should not be allowed anywhere near roads.

3. All other cyclists are reckless, a danger to themselves and others.

4. Anyone who suggests that I might be reckless, a danger to myself and others is an asshole and should not be allowed anywhere nears roads.

5. You must make intense eye contact with every attractive person you pass by. Bonus points if you then spend the rest of the ride imagining your life with your new Bike Spouse that you will never see again.

6. Every skirt about which you think it's a safe non-flash option will immediately fly off as soon as you put your foot on the pedal. 

7. Heels are, it turns out, totally fine to cycle in - but people will be very impressed if you do.

8. Look man. You probably should get a helmet, and you know it, and buying one is definitely on your list, but it's kind of like the driver's license you still haven't passed: you're not sure exactly how long you can keep on talking about it without actually doing it, but you'll push it as far as it'll go.